Hey Mr. Guana. It took me sometime to actually sit down and write to you. Words just don't seem enough anymore. I'm trying hard to understand life and why it is so hard. I know that we are all born to die but every day that passes, I still can't help but to ask 1)Why you?? and 2) Why now?? I know the man upstairs works in mysterious ways, so his will I will not doubt. I miss you very very much. And I thank you with all my heart for being the father to me that my own biological father never was. You came into my life when I was only 4 yrs old and you became the only father I knew. Sitting here now at 19, reminiscing, I admire you so much. I remember you always working hard to provide for all of us, getting up early in the morning to take us to school, picking us up after school on Wednesdays to go and pick up your pay from the Water Department and stoppin to get our favorite snacks, and so on. Its sad because you deserved a much longer life. You deserved to continue to watch chinnass (lil' Ghana) and yaby (reauna) grow up. You deserved so much and that is why I can't help but feel that you were robbed of the life you deserved. I know that you are in a better place watching over all of us and I know one day we will see each other again...but in the meantime what do i do? So many people are mourning your loss. How I wish this was all a dream. I want to mend my lil' brother/sister's heart cuz they are hurting sooOOOOooooo very much. Please comfort them with your spirit because no matter how hard we all try to comfort them, it is a place in thier hearts that only you can touch, a void that only you can fill. I have to stop writing now because I am starting to get emotional. Please know that not 1 single day goes by when you don't cross my mind. Just today, while I was on the bus to work, I was reading the last card you ever gave me. It was a valentine's day card from a father to a daughter. The card made me cry because in it it said how proud you were to have a daughter like me. Please know, that I will continue to make you proud. I don't care if we didn't have the same DNA, you were my father. You were the one who watched me graduate from 8th grade & high school. You were the one who watched me go off on my junior/senior prom. As I went through normal growing pains you were there to discipline when needed but also to reward me (remember sisqo????? or "gay-man" as you called him). I love you forever and ever. And I will always watch over and take care of Reauna and Ghana. As a matter of fact, mommy and I are taking re-re to new york to see Hannah Montana in concert and lil' ghana is still down florida with uncle Kenya. They will be okay. I will write to you again. I love you and thank you for all the years you were in my life. I'm glad we made so many home videos growing up, cuz they're the only things I have left to see you and hear your voice. Just before God called you home, you left me a message on my phone saying: "It's Dad, call me"....I erased the message not knowing the twist of fate that lay ahead for you. You have no idea how I still wish I had that message. I know you are watching over me and I will always keep you in my heart. I love you Mr. Guana/Dad. R.I.P "The ones we love don't go away, for they watch over us each and every day" -Erryn